You need to write like a human being

So often, fundraising copy just sounds wooden, artificial, and inhuman.

Here's a sample, pulled at random from the Donor Power Fortress of Charity Junk Mail Vault:

Winter disasters and other emergencies are on the way. And your gift to [name of charity deleted] is critically important. Please send your gift of $35, $25, $50 or more right way. Use the enclosed envelope, or simply call [phone number deleted].

There's nothing flat-out bad about this copy. It's clear and readable, which is more than you can say for a lot of copy that gets written and published. There's just one thing:

It doesn't sound like a human being. No mentally healthy person would speak those sentences. It sounds like a robot.

Here's what we need to get into our heads: Nobody wants to hear from a robot any more than they have to! We waste too many hours with voice-mail menus, voice-recognition bots, auto-generated emails, and inhuman notifications from our banks, insurance companies, utilities, and others.

It's soul-crushing. People shouldn't have to put up with it. Increasingly, they're refusing to put up with it.

There's nothing forcing you to write that way. When you write to donors -- whether you're asking for money, thanking them for a gift, telling them what their giving accomplished, or even taking care of details -- keep it natural, warm, and human. Make sure you're awake from the organizational stupor that can strike.

And then write like a human. Your donors will thank you for it.

Technorati Tags: fundraising, copywriting

Comments

[Sandy Rees]

Amen, brother! How can you be personal and build a relationship with a donor if you sound like a robot? We as fundraisers need to write like we talk - okay, maybe not always (some of us may not be so articulate!) but it needs to sound like it came out of our mouths.

Sandy

[Ted Grigg]

Jeff, how would you write that paragraph to make it sound more human?

I agree with you, but expanding the example would help.

Ted